Discipline

Some may have heard about the West Bend incident the other day. I have mixed feelings about this, but after is listening to an interesting podcast on This American Life, I discovered another side.

To discipline is to learn obey the rules. Adam and I have a strong sense of discipline in our family unit. A lot has come from our parents, no doubt, but a lot has come out of what we sense as "worry" and This American Life also pointed to as worry (a teacher in a very strict school used it). My children, will never understand the worry we have for them until they have children themselves, but everything we discipline on is because we see "messed up" kids all over and we know what happens come age 18 (if not before) and that worry drives us to discipline them to: listen to adults, follow household rules, go to bed when told clean up, listen to your teacher, etc...

And the reason why...well, Adam and I did everything "right" so to say (in American values). We graduated from HS, we had good grades, we worked jobs in the summer to help pay for school, we got Bachelors degrees and Master's Degrees and lots of credits beyond that. We bought a house, bought a new car when we had to, made the payments on 0 percent interest, pay off credit cards every month, etc.. We CHOSE to stay home to parent (Nicki did) because she valued the time with the young children and We didn't value having a daycare raise the children that we decided to have. So, we chose a one income life (Nicki works part time in the evenings and some small early childhood jobs). And with that said, with doing everything right, we still make it just month to month in America. We have never bought a bedroom set, the kitchen table is hand me down, all of your clothes are garage sale and hand me downs (which are awesome!!!), all in order that we can.....save for the big announcement...HAVE enough money to buy a minivan or diapers, etc.  Haha!! And this is without making any "life" mistakes or any unexpected awful things happen (praise Jesus).

Do we once a month or so go out to dinner on a date? Yes, cause mommy and daddy severly love each other and without that you two loaves of bread would be toast!

Do we have an iphone? Yup! Does that count as my camera and everything else too, yep!!

But do I get to love you kids up everyday of the year! You betcha. And why am I so tough sometimes, because I want you, Charlie, Carolyn, and Grand Finale to worry even less about money in your life than we have by making the RIGHT life choices so you end up in a successful career or job or whatever you choose. I know early childhood is the time to accomplish this. If I solve the battles now, when they are small,we have a much higher chance of being successful adults. So what if I have it give up a career for 7 years? Oh well!! 

So when I send you to your room for whining, or hitting, or talking back to mommy. It is out of love that when you are 13, I don't have to call the police on you to solve my problems that at 4 were annoying but at 13+ are serious. And when I let you cry it out in the middle of the night when you were 6-9 months old, realize that I was not being mean, but teaching you the value of sleep. Much research has been done between poor infant sleep habits and poor adult sleep habits. I don't want to curse you with either. And when I make you eat veggies or fruits and you do not want to, realize that someday I hope they become 90% of your diet so that when you do eat that piece of cheesecake you can love it up and never feel guilty about it.

And realize that although we don't do $200 birthday parties for you, or cool expensive "rides", we truly love you and believe that everything has a time and a place. Why take you to Great America at 4 when we can wait 3 years and you are tall enough to go on every ride!! Awesome!!! You are not neglected, you are highly loved and everything we do for you is because our love runs forever deep and we want to show you all of life....in time. 

But until then, put the dishes away!!