Alzheimer's
I write this that someday my own children will read this and know what this disease is and how it affects our family.
My mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease about 3 years ago. While at first, her decline seemed rather mild, the past 6-8 months have been a steep downward fall. My father is still caring for her full time at home, but has now found a Memory Care facility to place her at as her needs are more than an 80 year old (or really anyone) man can handle. She is constantly confused, needs help or attention every 5 minutes and desires to sleep almost all the time. She has taken many falls lately and is losing other abilities as well.
Of course, we knew this was coming, but it doesn't make it any easier. To say that my mom is still here is true, but she is a fragment of who she was. And this is where my grieving begins.
My mother, Elaine Wanta, was nothing short of a miracle worker. I wish I knew or paid attention to more stories about her, but you know, we are all selfish in our own ways and don't care about anyone else until it almost becomes too late to care. A few things I strongly remember about my mom are these:
--"Remember that your children are only on loan to you for 18 years, make sure you raise them to become independent people and then let them go..."
- (on how she had soooo many kids) "Why wouldn't I? I love kids and I love young kids, they never tired me out."
-my mom stayed home and raised me, she was there everyday after school, she always made dinner, had all things organized and ran us all to various after school events. While I don't remember her working much of an outside job per se, she ran a highly efficient Wanta ship. She spent every moment she could with us. I am so glad she did, and I am so glad that even though we are almost at poverty level (haha), I can manage to spend every minute with my kids. Alas, the only thing we can never get more of is time.
-she talked so highly of BayView and the area of Milwaukee she grew up in.
-she made an awesome grilled cheese on the broiler! (one of the few things she cooked well....that really wasn't her gift)
-she read us A LOT of books, A LOT!
-she never played with us a lot, but in doing that, we developed vivid imaginations. I use to have all my animals listen to me while I taught school. They were the best students I have ever had!
-I suspect, like most parents on a tight budget, she mostly did without at Christmas or Birthdays. We do the same for our kids. My gift is to be around you many hours a week.
I wish I would have called her or talked to her more when I was in college or newly employed. I was healthy, she was healthy, I wish I would have grown an adult relationship with her more. It wasn't as though she wasn't there, because she was, just sitting on the other side of the state, probably waiting for one of her 6 kids to call. From a kids perspective, you never think about how much your parents truly love you and want you to come around, until you have kids of your own. And then I think of Charlie leaving in 12 years and all I can do is WAIT around my phone and WAIT until he says "hey mom, can I come home for the weekend" in which I will jump happy jumps all over the house! But I want to respect my kids also, give them the freedom and hope they will come back someday so I can snuggle up MY grandkids!
So I can honestly say, Thanks Mom, you are and were and outstanding mom. How you did what you did back in the day, is nothing short of a miracle. I am blessed to call you my mom! And while this stupid disease has taken a hold of your entire brain, I have to let you know that when the day comes, for you to meet Jesus, please know that I will be excited because you will be able to watch my life, again with full eyes, brain, and peace. You will be able to see how I am trying to honor your footsteps, but leading a grace filled life like you did. And I know because of this stupid disease that you are not.
I love you immensely Mom, and I hope that you see the biggest compliment you can give someone is to emulate them. May I give my kids all the TIME you gave us.
My mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease about 3 years ago. While at first, her decline seemed rather mild, the past 6-8 months have been a steep downward fall. My father is still caring for her full time at home, but has now found a Memory Care facility to place her at as her needs are more than an 80 year old (or really anyone) man can handle. She is constantly confused, needs help or attention every 5 minutes and desires to sleep almost all the time. She has taken many falls lately and is losing other abilities as well.
Of course, we knew this was coming, but it doesn't make it any easier. To say that my mom is still here is true, but she is a fragment of who she was. And this is where my grieving begins.
My mother, Elaine Wanta, was nothing short of a miracle worker. I wish I knew or paid attention to more stories about her, but you know, we are all selfish in our own ways and don't care about anyone else until it almost becomes too late to care. A few things I strongly remember about my mom are these:
--"Remember that your children are only on loan to you for 18 years, make sure you raise them to become independent people and then let them go..."
- (on how she had soooo many kids) "Why wouldn't I? I love kids and I love young kids, they never tired me out."
-my mom stayed home and raised me, she was there everyday after school, she always made dinner, had all things organized and ran us all to various after school events. While I don't remember her working much of an outside job per se, she ran a highly efficient Wanta ship. She spent every moment she could with us. I am so glad she did, and I am so glad that even though we are almost at poverty level (haha), I can manage to spend every minute with my kids. Alas, the only thing we can never get more of is time.
-she talked so highly of BayView and the area of Milwaukee she grew up in.
-she made an awesome grilled cheese on the broiler! (one of the few things she cooked well....that really wasn't her gift)
-she read us A LOT of books, A LOT!
-she never played with us a lot, but in doing that, we developed vivid imaginations. I use to have all my animals listen to me while I taught school. They were the best students I have ever had!
-I suspect, like most parents on a tight budget, she mostly did without at Christmas or Birthdays. We do the same for our kids. My gift is to be around you many hours a week.
I wish I would have called her or talked to her more when I was in college or newly employed. I was healthy, she was healthy, I wish I would have grown an adult relationship with her more. It wasn't as though she wasn't there, because she was, just sitting on the other side of the state, probably waiting for one of her 6 kids to call. From a kids perspective, you never think about how much your parents truly love you and want you to come around, until you have kids of your own. And then I think of Charlie leaving in 12 years and all I can do is WAIT around my phone and WAIT until he says "hey mom, can I come home for the weekend" in which I will jump happy jumps all over the house! But I want to respect my kids also, give them the freedom and hope they will come back someday so I can snuggle up MY grandkids!
So I can honestly say, Thanks Mom, you are and were and outstanding mom. How you did what you did back in the day, is nothing short of a miracle. I am blessed to call you my mom! And while this stupid disease has taken a hold of your entire brain, I have to let you know that when the day comes, for you to meet Jesus, please know that I will be excited because you will be able to watch my life, again with full eyes, brain, and peace. You will be able to see how I am trying to honor your footsteps, but leading a grace filled life like you did. And I know because of this stupid disease that you are not.
I love you immensely Mom, and I hope that you see the biggest compliment you can give someone is to emulate them. May I give my kids all the TIME you gave us.
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