SAHM

I chose to be a stay at home mom because I could not stand the idea that another person or people would raise the children that I had. I also did not want my kids getting sick as much, or the worst part.....the mommy guilt. 

At first, I was unsure of this decision. I missed teaching greatly, everyday. I missed a paycheck. I missed talking with other adults. 

I sometimes feel that SAHM, even though we chose to do this, are punished for this. It is hard for us to get back in the work field, we end up with significantly less pay than those who chose to work, and quite possibly our retirement is pushed even farther back as we have to meet the minimum number of allotted years in a profession to retire.  I also believe that people help out working parents more than non working moms. The idea of "well, she is at home, she does not need a break or night off" is the overall feeling I receive. When, in fact, I would believe it to be the opposite. When I did work the first year of Charlie's life, I NEVER wanted anyone to babysit him after work, cause I only got 3-4 hours a day with him. Now, I am going on about 12-16 hours a day with my kids, nonstop, anyone is more than welcomed to them. But, that brings up the next point, right....we live on one income. To hire a babysitter costs us upwards of $30-40 a night plus the cost of dinner and we are talking about $100 or more for a night away. We are great savers, very much so, but I can guarantee you this cannot happen more than once a month. Imagine spending $400-500 a month on dates?? Ha!! And these are relatively boring dates...we just do dinner (although Adam and I have been known to choose nice restaurants as we LOVE good food...we are not McDOnalds type of people).

We do not have family to babysit for free (nor do we like to take advantage of that), so we need to start being creative on ways to keep the spark in our marriage. This is hard to do, very much so. We get in a rut of, eat dinner, go for walk with kids, get the ready for bed, watch a movie, repeat. We love each other deeply, but these years of having young children are challenging, both financially and on a marriage and emotionally. And I fully realize that as we grow and age, our marriage will again be faced with new and different challenges. We may again long for the day when our kids went to bed at 7:30!! 

If I were a working mom, we would have an additional $50,000 to play around with. Well, less after childcare, but certainly more than then $120 a month I make now (you are jealous, aren't you?). We could enjoy a few nights out after the kids went to bed...and afford that sitter. But, then again, I get to play awesome games with an incredible 3 year old all day. I get to teach him how to cook every meal. I get to teach him how to read, write, and color. I get to see him achieve all this everyday. I get to see Carrie just about ready to take her first steps. I get to watch her gobble down all sorts of new food. I get to see her try to wrestle her brother and prove what a pain she will be to Charlie for the rest of his life. I get all this stuff, and it is so cool. Did we take a HUGE pay cut for this, without a doubt. Will my career likely suffer immensely from this, quite likely. Do we receive gifts, aid, etc from outside sources (well, not yet...haha). When was then last time Adam and I had a date by ourselves....cannot remember. But, is it worth it? You bet!!! My children are incredible human beings and I am getting to enjoy each and every second of it! I am so blessed. Thank you Jesus!!!