The Best Book I Read...in a year...
....is called "Bringing up Bebe" by Pamela Druckerman. As a warning of caution, I am a new mother. Parenting stuff interests me, ESPECIALLY the way other cultures parent their children. I realize that many people are not "into" this stuff and would thus not be at all intrigued by this book.
Another word of caution. I am not French. I have never been to France. In fact, I am not sure that I have ever met someone who is from France. I don't attest to liking the French or disliking them. My conservative brother Russ dislikes them, which would make me think I would like them, but it is hard to tell.
But, I LOVE this book. LOVE LOVE LOVE!
A woman from America marries a British man and they live in France. Both are some sort of journalists. In the midst of living in France, she has 3 children. 1 singleton and a set of twins. She is constantly baffled at what she sees when she is at restaurants, children sitting and eating a four course dinner, when she is at the playground, parents sitting on the bench and talking without being interrupted by their children, and when she goes for a playdate, children NOT interrupting the parents, but rather playing by themselves while the mothers enjoy an hour or two of coffee. She is in disbelief, because this is not what she sees in America, at all. And I have to agree with her.
My experiences with these three areas are this:
Restaurants-while it has gotten better, Charlie normally proceeds to crawling under the table at least a few times during the course of the meal. This is better than the all out tantrums that use to commence with eating out. But, still, not appropriate behavior for a restaurant. I do "work" on this. Once a week Charlie and I go out for a "mommy and me" meal or breakfast or something in public. We practice ordering, using our please and thank you's, sitting at a table politely, talking, using a napkin, eating appropriately, not throwing food on the floor, etc...He is getting better as we are practicing our PATIENCE!
Playdates-by far the hardest! Argh! It is a fine line when at someone else's house with different rules than your own. He often whines about toys, sharing is about impossible, and it is my least favorite thing to do (although I do GREATLY enjoy being around the other mothers!). I have to keep working with this.
Playground-Adam and I are starting to "sit back" on the bench and enjoy watching him from afar. It is quite funny, in the book, how American parents "narrate" their child's play on the playground. It is so funny, watch sometime! "Are you gonna climb up the ladder or slide down the slide?" "I see you are walking on that flat platform so well!" HAHAHA! SO funny! As if we need to tell the kid what they are doing. Can't they just "do it?" I am pretty sure me saying "Weee!" everytime Charlie goes down the slide is not going to boost his IQ any!
This book gives lots of little insights on how to teach this stuff to your children at a young age. I would argue, in fact, that Americans WERE doing this a long time ago when they were raising their children (dare I say parents who were having children in the 40's, 50's, and 60's.....and maybe the occasional "oops baby of 1981?). But, in the midst, we have lost this idea that while we love our children like nothing else in our life, they are not our whole life? Yes? That it is okay to work, to go on dates, to enjoy company without your children constantly present. It is okay to read a book while your child plays with his toys, he needs to play independently.
Another thing the author comments on is the food served at daycares/preschools. Holy cow! You might have thought you were going to a 5 star restaurant! No kidding! WOW! Here is a sample of what a daycare would serve (and they are government run and have their own chef's and same menu):
"The commission is a microcosm of French ideas about kids and food. Lesson number one is that there's no such thing as "kid's food." A dietician reads out the proposed menus, including all four courses for each lunch, as if she's entering them into the official record. There is no mention of french fries, chicken nuggets, pizza, or even ketchup. The proposed menu for one Friday is a salad of shredded red cabbage. This is followed by a white fish called colin in a dill sauce and a side of organic potatoes. The cheese course is Coulommiers Cheese (similar to Brie). Dessert is baked organic apple. Each dish is cut up or pureed according to the age of the kids."
Seriously?!! Holy Shit! If the daycare I went to served this, I am pretty sure that I would never take him out! To be getting that type of nutrition daily is beyond my thoughts. I can only hope that I can start to provide Charlie just a tip off the iceberg. I have much more to read on food!!
Overall the titles of the chapters of the book do a great job with summing it up in a few words:
1.) French children don't throw food
2.) Are you waiting for a child? (pregnancy chapter)
3.) Paris is burping (more pregnancy stuff and delivery)
4.) Doing her nights (sleeping through the night at 3 months old)
5.) Wait! (how to get kids to wait and be patience, pushing off pleasure)
6.) tiny little humans (talking to baby, not just in cutesy voice)
7.) day care? (interesting chapter!)
8.) bebe au lait(breast feeding)
9.) the perfect mother doesn't exist
10.) caca boudin (kids and their naughty word)
11.) double entendre (twins happen)
12.) i adore this baguette
13.) you just have to taste it
14. ) it's me who decides (love this!)
15.) let him live his life (double love this!)
Great book! Go and check it out from the library!
Another word of caution. I am not French. I have never been to France. In fact, I am not sure that I have ever met someone who is from France. I don't attest to liking the French or disliking them. My conservative brother Russ dislikes them, which would make me think I would like them, but it is hard to tell.
But, I LOVE this book. LOVE LOVE LOVE!
A woman from America marries a British man and they live in France. Both are some sort of journalists. In the midst of living in France, she has 3 children. 1 singleton and a set of twins. She is constantly baffled at what she sees when she is at restaurants, children sitting and eating a four course dinner, when she is at the playground, parents sitting on the bench and talking without being interrupted by their children, and when she goes for a playdate, children NOT interrupting the parents, but rather playing by themselves while the mothers enjoy an hour or two of coffee. She is in disbelief, because this is not what she sees in America, at all. And I have to agree with her.
My experiences with these three areas are this:
Restaurants-while it has gotten better, Charlie normally proceeds to crawling under the table at least a few times during the course of the meal. This is better than the all out tantrums that use to commence with eating out. But, still, not appropriate behavior for a restaurant. I do "work" on this. Once a week Charlie and I go out for a "mommy and me" meal or breakfast or something in public. We practice ordering, using our please and thank you's, sitting at a table politely, talking, using a napkin, eating appropriately, not throwing food on the floor, etc...He is getting better as we are practicing our PATIENCE!
Playdates-by far the hardest! Argh! It is a fine line when at someone else's house with different rules than your own. He often whines about toys, sharing is about impossible, and it is my least favorite thing to do (although I do GREATLY enjoy being around the other mothers!). I have to keep working with this.
Playground-Adam and I are starting to "sit back" on the bench and enjoy watching him from afar. It is quite funny, in the book, how American parents "narrate" their child's play on the playground. It is so funny, watch sometime! "Are you gonna climb up the ladder or slide down the slide?" "I see you are walking on that flat platform so well!" HAHAHA! SO funny! As if we need to tell the kid what they are doing. Can't they just "do it?" I am pretty sure me saying "Weee!" everytime Charlie goes down the slide is not going to boost his IQ any!
This book gives lots of little insights on how to teach this stuff to your children at a young age. I would argue, in fact, that Americans WERE doing this a long time ago when they were raising their children (dare I say parents who were having children in the 40's, 50's, and 60's.....and maybe the occasional "oops baby of 1981?). But, in the midst, we have lost this idea that while we love our children like nothing else in our life, they are not our whole life? Yes? That it is okay to work, to go on dates, to enjoy company without your children constantly present. It is okay to read a book while your child plays with his toys, he needs to play independently.
Another thing the author comments on is the food served at daycares/preschools. Holy cow! You might have thought you were going to a 5 star restaurant! No kidding! WOW! Here is a sample of what a daycare would serve (and they are government run and have their own chef's and same menu):
"The commission is a microcosm of French ideas about kids and food. Lesson number one is that there's no such thing as "kid's food." A dietician reads out the proposed menus, including all four courses for each lunch, as if she's entering them into the official record. There is no mention of french fries, chicken nuggets, pizza, or even ketchup. The proposed menu for one Friday is a salad of shredded red cabbage. This is followed by a white fish called colin in a dill sauce and a side of organic potatoes. The cheese course is Coulommiers Cheese (similar to Brie). Dessert is baked organic apple. Each dish is cut up or pureed according to the age of the kids."
Seriously?!! Holy Shit! If the daycare I went to served this, I am pretty sure that I would never take him out! To be getting that type of nutrition daily is beyond my thoughts. I can only hope that I can start to provide Charlie just a tip off the iceberg. I have much more to read on food!!
Overall the titles of the chapters of the book do a great job with summing it up in a few words:
1.) French children don't throw food
2.) Are you waiting for a child? (pregnancy chapter)
3.) Paris is burping (more pregnancy stuff and delivery)
4.) Doing her nights (sleeping through the night at 3 months old)
5.) Wait! (how to get kids to wait and be patience, pushing off pleasure)
6.) tiny little humans (talking to baby, not just in cutesy voice)
7.) day care? (interesting chapter!)
8.) bebe au lait(breast feeding)
9.) the perfect mother doesn't exist
10.) caca boudin (kids and their naughty word)
11.) double entendre (twins happen)
12.) i adore this baguette
13.) you just have to taste it
14. ) it's me who decides (love this!)
15.) let him live his life (double love this!)
Great book! Go and check it out from the library!
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